Shanghai Debauchery

Hoped you missed me fuckers

Prepare yourself as I ruin my life…

This is just the beginning, as usual.

Quick run down of the night?

-Bottles

Good rundown

This is just an introduction so welcome to my world. I’ll see you in Laos, then Bali, then Chicago.

Philosophical? why not… let’s get bukowski on em with no punctuation or capitalization

this world is a completely fucked up place. you will inevitably run across people who make you question what youre doing, question your path and question your goals. i ask you to take a good, GOOD, look at these people and question whether they know wtf they are doing. because let’s be honest, we dont need to take shit from people who love to talk.

there are talkers, and there are doers. as soon as you become a tweeter, or facebook whore, or even a blogger (should probably delete this post eh? as i rag on myself), you have officially announced to the world that whatever is going on in my life is not as interesting as getting on the internet and telling you about what i could have been doing (but im in shanghai and i want to leave, no guarantee you get this awesome wisdom once im back in chicago)

i love writing

i fucking love talking to whoever has enough time to browse through these scribbles

hopefully, you at your, fucking lame 9-5 job, can get a bit of joy out of this, cuz the lord (and i do not pretend to be close with him, but i hope he respects what i do) knows that you are KILLING YOURSELF.

get out there, experience some shit. i would hate to be you, waking up at 30 years old, wondering where the FUCK your life went.

so dont sit there and tell me, i need to  be something, or i need to be somewhere, or i need to have someone.

I once told a girl, something along these lines… “that you should not look back on what has happened to you and have regret, because no matter what has happened in the past, you will always end up where you’re supposed to be”

get where you need to go, but end up where you want to be.

and at the end of the day, you dont have anyone to blame, talk to, or reminisce with but yourself, so i hope you like you. if you dont, theres not much i can say…

not much at all….

wake up fuckers! the time is now and it always has been! if you are not happy then there is no reason to wait.. make a F.U.C.K.I.N.G. CHANGE! life is far too short (especially when you drink and smoke as much as i do) to be wasting a day.. an hour.. a minute.. a second… a moment doing anything besides fulfilling what you know you need…

so welcome back! i’ve got shit else to do for the next couple weeks… might as well yell at the internet.

One last thought…

a couple days ago i had a status up on my chat.. whatever. client.

“why me? ——- if this status has a negative connotation to you, rethink your life asshole”

no one seemed to get it… that made me more than a little depressed, so let me explain a little further

say to yourself, the words… “why me”

these words should not bring you down, or make you feel as if you are not worth something

the words why me should bring you up! “why me!?”

why am i so awesome?

why does everyone love me?

why does everything i do seem to go so well?

why am i so blessed?

im not much for the church, but i cannot tell you that i do not believe in something higher than myself. in my opinion though, he can only help you so much, at a certain point you need to take control for yourself and MAKE things work for you.

“why me” should be a positive phrase in your life, if it is not, then you are doing something wrong

wake up is all i can say…

wake up

because if you spend your whole life in a slumber, then why the fuck were you living at all?

It isn’t often that I recommend consuming anything other than my own word-slop, but in this case I must. I’m currently at my desk so the standard preface will be absent. All you need to know is that this is a fantastic read.

Fantastic Read

I love creative minds

~fink

Let’s fuckin’ do it.

I must apologize (an activity I do not frequently partake in). I’ve been… occupied. Sorry assholes, that’s all you get. Fear not peons, your lordship has returned.

I’m not hip to the general populace’s take on my “weekend wrap-ups”. Not that it matters, for I tire of them. Boredom always seems to erode the the joy I find in novelties such as these. So, like a ‘lady’ from Tongren Lu who has overstayed her welcome with the rising sun, I wash my hands of them. Hot water and soap, they’re gone.

I generally shower as well… But only if it was included in negotiations; and then I have to wash my hands again.

Unfortunately this leaves me some what at a loss as to how I will henceforth structure my ramblings. Perhaps the lack of overarching structure for this blog is at fault. Without topical pillars to hold it up, I fear this shit’s going to collapse. I’ve considered sharing some culinary findings/opinions with you all, but it seems somehow inappropriate (and better left to people who LOVE to eat). I love to drink, but this again does not exactly qualify me as a sommelier. Perhaps the lack of focus in my life is the only reflection I can draw upon for the time being. This will inevitably result in widspread chaos.

I’m down.

Further meditation is required

Title has nothing to do with the post, but you know you do.

I’m tired as a flacid one (Happy B-day J!) so going to just give you a quick update on how awesome I am.

I drank with these guys:

Professor’s Blog

They drink like me: too much too fast. It was glorious. If you don’t know who they are, learn. Now. Seriously, this is probably the only time I will grant you permission to vacate the premises of my internets.

“If I have seen farther than others, it is because I have stood on the shoulders of giants” – Sir Isaac Newton

… and I’m just gettin’ started.

~fink

It’s been a strange few days… Before I get lost in the black hole of my own ego (Get it? It’s massive) I want to let you guys know there should be a new LLW blog going up either tomorrow or Wednesday. Depending on how lazy I am.

So probably Thursday.

Allow me to now regale you with tales of yore!

Tales of Yore:

Friday I morphed into the drunken mess I generally am on weekends. I’d have to say the funniest thing that happened was stopping by Tongren Lu, where the ladies of the night had an interesting way of communicating. No matter what language I used in an attempt to convey my unwillingness to pay for services, this young lady’s response was the same. I can’t type it, she didn’t use words, I will attempt to paint a picture though.

She would point at me.

Point at herself.

Press her palms together and lay her head against them in the universal sign for sleeping.

I do not think actual sleeping was what she was proposing, but I got the gist. Too bad I’m broke, perhaps when I get a real job I’ll be back. Nothing says no strings attached like RMB600.

Saturday I watched Titanic alone curled in a blanket on my bed. I need to stop this kind of behavior… Until I have enough money to pay a nice lady to sit and watch with me. ZING!

In other news I ate octopus that was still writhing in a nice lil Korean restaurant. I’ve had the inside of my mouth sucked on before, just… not… like this… Still liked it.

Today I finally bought my bottle of Jack. The coming posts should be infinitely more entertaining and noticeably less coherent. Such are the scales of justice, but well worth it in my humble opinion (IMHO).

Lastly I wanted to muse for a moment, if you will allow me. Not that I need your permission; but after rejecting more prostitutes than I am able to count (I can’t get past ten if I have shoes on…) I’m learning to be more polite. I know what you’re thinking and yes, I consider you all to be of similar status as these escorts.  If I had opened up that bottle of Jack I would most likely be propositioning you instead of attempting and failing to compose this engaging public service announcement.

I kind of like this internship thing. I know, deep within me where a normal human has a soul, that I inherently get bored of almost everything I do. With an internship, I don’t have to quit. It just kind of, expires. No hard feelings, no harsh break up with the boss, just acceptance that my time has come to an end. I hope it’s a similar situation when I go out in a furious drunken blaze of glory on my 30th birthday. I mean blaze in a literal sense here. I plan to be engulfed in flames.

Brilliant.

I’m going to keep meandering for a while until I falter and land in a pile of filth that you all might call a “real job” or a “career”. In my vocabulary, these are considered vile curses on par with “marriage” and “commitment”. I can feel the bile welling up just typing them. Blech.

I leave you with that appetizing imagery.

~fink

I’ve realized that one issue with this… thing, whatever it is that I’m doing here, is it’s abundance of words. There’s simply too many of them.

I’m going to try to spread stuff out a bit. Make a few shorter posts during the week as not much goes on in the cube; reserving weekends for something you sex-kittens can sink your incisors into on the weekends.

I hope this arrangement pleases you. I live to please.

In other news I’m job hunting – again; and I’m realizing that I need to be creative. It is well with my abilities to be a “people person” and go into something like events management, but I don’t like it. Because in general, I don’t like people. I find it immensely hard to fathom exactly how I managed to let this slip my mind when planning for the next job. God I hope it’s not a cube.

Editorial work is fine, but I’m looking for something a little more (sexually) stimulating. I wonder what it takes to get into advertising… If the industry is anything like Mad Men, I’d be getting into other things as well.

Like “vaginas”.

Sweet.

~fink

I feel like shit.

Staying home today and taking a break from work.. sort of. Still more work to do for other job and I’ll be editing articles as they come in and I’ll be applying for new jobs and holyshitthisisn’tafuckingbreak

In other news,I seem to have sparked a bit of discussion over at Lost Laowai. Of course by discussion I mean people are not happy at what I have to say.

I revel in it….

First post at Lost Laowai is up.

Get it while it’s hot…. and sexy….. like me….. so whenever I guess.

~fink

I receive my inspiration regarding style from a number of behemoths of talent – monoliths of genius. Some have been previously brought to light, others have not. I want to briefly relate to you my idols, and what exactly is provided to me by basking in their shadows of glory. I realize that this serves no clear purpose or “added value”; a phrase forcefully injected injected into my vocabulary by my nine-to-five. Yet, as this blog is primarily a masturbatory experience, I just don’t give a fuck. The following verbs, nouns, adjectives etc. are going to be filled with girlish flattery; and as the consumer of my verbiage, it is well within your rights as a reader to circumvent this strategically placed land mine of emotion. Still,I cannot in good faith recommend this shortcut through my blog. If I whip it out (which I often do), I believe it deserves to be taken in (phrased in this manner entirely with purpose).

Penny Arcade – A gander through any one of Mr. Brahe’s posts and you will almost immediately recognize my style of writing as a sort of “Chinese knock off”. If for some reason, you do not recognize this one of two things has most likely occurred. You may see his style as so vastly superior to mine that in fabricating a copy of it, I have succeeded only in creating a completely different product; a useless one at that… Or maybe the words he uses are too big, and “yourah eeng-uh-leesh not so very good”. Either way, I hope to one day be worthy of a comparison.

Mad Men – I realize I’m a bit behind on this trend as I’m about halfway through the second season now, but AMC’s Mad Men is an amazing show. I won’t dive into the depths on why it is such an amazing show here, I simply don’t have the patience. If you’ve seen it you know, if you have not you will trust in me as you trust in weak interaction.

Mad Men makes me want to partake in three highly related activities: drinking, smoking and being creative. I love all three of these things with a passion  passed down from Aphrodite herself. It is ultimately passion that drives us. The lead character in the series, Mr. Don Draper, gives insight that what he sells are not simply words and pictures, but the emotion that they convey. I believe wholeheartedly that this statement should not only apply to advertising, but everything one wishes to share with an audience. I hope that this comes through in my writing. Also I’ll be buying a bottle of scotch for companionship on these dreary Sunday mornings, to feel more like a real writer. Two fingers of  The Macallan sounds absolutely divine right now.

Jason Mraz – A master of creating images through words, “Butterfly” sung at the Casa Nova sessions is truly a masterpiece. Mr. Mraz’s ability to thrust full canvases of words into ones mind is unmatched. Similar to Tycho’s poems of wit from Penny Arcade, here I recognize my own deficiency. It does not not for a moment hinder my grasps at greatness.

I suppose now with the sun setting, the time has arrived for my weekend round up. Not that I can see the sun here in Shanghai; but it’s getting dark, so I choose to infer.

This weekend forgivingly began on Thursday for me after a German Chamber meeting at the Hyatt in Jinmao tower. I don’t take the adventure to Pudong too often outside of my weekly duties as a scribe for the GC Ticker, so a chance to drink at the highest bar in the world was one I could not pass up. I persuaded my general partner in crime to join me.

Cloud 9 - The view was shit. Dark and cloudy, Shanghai offered it’s absolute worst. Thankfully, vodka was in order. I’d be lying if I told you I had any idea what went into the concoction my friend had sent from the kitchen for his own indulgence, but I know what went into mine: Ketel One, Vermouth, and an olive. A well made martini can be the cure to almost any ailment. Cloud 9′s did a splendid job of whisking away the monotony which drowns me during the week. I cannot vouch for their other tonics listed, but I quite enjoyed my time there with good company and good vodka. The weekend was upon me and I was “down”.

I’m always down.

Happy Hour at Renaissance Yu Yuan – A stress filled couple weeks for said partner in crime, let’s call him Hopps, climaxed on Friday with drinks and remarkably good food at the Renaissance hotel. Having eaten at some of the finer hotels through the graces of my employment, I can safely say the this was some of the finest. While we weren’t eating from a specific “canteen” in the establishment, mad props to whoever put together those BLT’s and spring rolls. Simply fantastic. Accompanying the food upstairs was an offering from Schlumberger. I won’t say much about this except that if you are in the market for an affordable sparkling wine here in China, Schlumberger’s Golden Dry is an excellent choice.

Before I move on to the next destination and bit of exciting news, there’s an anecdote which I believe deserves not only mention, but indeed it’s own paragraph.

While on duty greeting people and taking their money (it’s what us Jews do best), Bossman introduced me to an elderly female Chinese acquaintance of his. I find joy in stereotypes. I revel in them. They are, like alcohol, sustenance. So when Bossman asked for her opinion on the last cover jointly designed by both him and me (a red and gold over-sized Yin Yang relating the Dragon to the Eagle), her thickly accented somewhat critical response of  ”Velllly Chinese-uh” practically had me in tears. I love this woman. Apparently I have done some work for her as a favor to Bossman in the past; after meeting her I cannot wait for our next encounter. The clock struck twelve and it was time for me to begin another weekend filled with networking.

Sky - Sky is nothing new. It’s below Muse. It’s packed. But most importantly, it has a RMB 100 open bar. I LOVE open bar. This particular Saturday, the Black Eyed Peas DJ (Motiv8) was in town. He’s a damn good entertainer, and apparently a friend of a friend. I LOVE Shanghai. I wasn’t exactly chillin VIP, but I’m on my way damnit.

Saturday was a bit of a let down, but not entirely. S.H.E. was in town, and I was looking forward to meeting them. I’m lucky enough to be in the same international company as their dancers are, so a professional greeting was supposed to be in order. So as not to dawdle and complain excessively: fuck China Mobile. I did not get to see the pretty Taiwanese pop-stars, but I did manage the proverbial what’s up the night before they left. A 6AM flight meant they had to pack and get ready, but the good news is Angie will be back in December. With new artists. Now that she has a connection to a mainland agency, she should be coming here more often with more famous people. I LOVE Shanghai.

I’m finding that since I’ve been here, there hasn’t been nearly as much drinking and misplacement of underwear as I expected. I’m not sure if it’s the recoil from coasting on whatever winds blew my way for the majority of my life, or being stuck in the dead calm wading pool that is Champaign/Urbana for the last four years, but the satisfaction I get out of actually doing shit these days is fantastic. The speed of this city never ceases to astound me.

A final thought: I don’t want enough money so I can pay for whatever I want. I want enough status so that I don’t have to pay for anything.

No, I don’t get tired of being shallow. I don’t have the time.

~fink